Fluffy Thongs and BBQ Tongs
by Phoebe Halliwell
Summary: The title pretty much sums it up, a humour fic with a few disturbing images including Filch in a thong, thats enough to make anyone shudder but fear not DRACO'S IN A THONG TOO! Don't ask about the BBQ tongs or the rake, all will be revealed.
1. Fluffy Red Thongs

Fluffy Tongs and BBQ Tongs

Chapter one

This was the Quiditch match of the year, if Gryffindor won against Slytherin they would have won the cup or vice versa if Slytherin won the match. The problem was Harry was playing against his long-term secret boyfriend.

He and Draco had been meeting up in secret for about two months now and it was getting harder and harder to pretend to be enemies because their love was growing unbearably strong.

However unless they wanted to tell the entire school they had to just get on with life as best they could.

Harry had seen the snitch; there was no hope for Draco who had been watching his boyfriend instead of searching for the golden ball. It was a well known fact that the raven haired Gryffindor was a much better flyer than the blonde Slytherin and owned a much faster broom but that didn't stop Draco zooming after him as fast as his Nimbus 2005 would allow.

Harry dived closely followed by Draco who couldn't quite keep up. Even the attempts to distract (this meaning Draco running his finger down Harry's thigh as best he could on a fast moving broom) the eager Gryffindor were in vain.

As he fell forward off his broom Harry caught the snitch; Draco, though Harry wasn't sure whether or not he did this on purpose fell directly on top of him. Madame Hooch's whistle sounded, signalling the end of the match, the blonde quickly removed himself of the smaller wizard smirking as the remainder of the Gryffindor team rushed over congratulating there seeker, while pushing Draco out of the way.

Hours later in the midst of the Gryffindor's celebration party Harry managed to slip out of the common room undetected.

He made his way cautiously up to the astronomy tower where he was due to meet Draco however he was already late. Breaking into a run he arrived at his destination a few minutes later.

"I thought you weren't coming." Draco said as his boyfriend entered slightly out of breath but still smiling.

"Sorry, we're having a party in my honour my absence would have been noticed if I left any sooner."

"Quite alright you're here now and that's all that matters." Draco growled lustily approaching Harry and encircling his arms around his boyfriend's thin waist.

"Mmmm and what do you have in mind tonight?"

"Well we could..." However Draco's sentence was never finished as footsteps were heard coming up the only exit from the tower.

Quickly Harry performed the disillusionment charm upon both himself and Draco hiding them from view. When the intruder entered the teens almost gave up their presence by gasping in shock, as it wasn't one person who entered but two. Professor Snape and none other than Blaise Zambini and they were holding hands.

"Are you sure no one will catch us up here Blaise?" Snape asked in a tone of voice Harry had never heard him use before, it was so soft so...loving.

"Positive, any way we can hear any one coming up those stairs now did you bring your wand?"

"I did, what would you like me to do with it?"

"I have a few things in mind." Blaise leant forward and whispered something in Snape's ear that neither Harry nor Draco could make out but whatever it was made Snape grin.

"Ok then if you are sure." Ropes shot out of the potion professor's wand binding Blaise's hands above his head.

Harry was not keen to stick around for the show but somehow couldn't tear his eyes away; he was in too much shock. Though his body seemed to be recovering nicely as he felt blood rush to his groin.

Snape was now slowly stripping himself putting on a show as Blaise watched lustily and Harry and Draco gaped unable to believe it. Draco was the one who finally had the sense to find a part of Harry's body and push him towards the open door, which was only when Snape had stripped himself down to a bright red fluffy thong that Harry thought, looked quite flattering.

They left just as Snape started to undress Blaise with his teeth, neither teen wanted to stick around for the grand finale.

Only once the couple had made it down the stairs as silently as they could and taken off the disillusionment charms upon themselves did they burst into fits of laughter.

"I can't believe it." Harry said gasping for breath.

"You think you know a person and then you find out they wear fluffy thongs."

"I thought it looked rather flattering, I might buy you a pair for next Christmas." Harry said quite seriously which stopped Draco's laughter almost immediately.

"Don't even think about it." The blonde scowled. "But I can't believe that Snape, Severus Snape that I've known all my life who's my godfather, I mean why."

"Well at least your godfather wasn't an escaped lunatic that was wrongly blamed for the murder of your parents."

"But yours wasn't caught wearing a thong."

"A fluffy one at that."

"Oh shut up Harry."

When Harry finally reached Gryffindor tower the party was still raging and to no surprise he hadn't been missed, but this was partly because someone had got hold of three bottles of fire whiskey and every one was either passed out in their beds or littered around the common room.

Only a few remained standing however they were swaying tediously. Harry carefully picked his way through his slumbering classmates and up to bed the thought of Snape and Blaise still fresh in his mind.

The funny thing was this didn't disturb him quite as much as he originally thought it would, of course he had done worse things with Draco.

He desperately wanted to tell someone about the astronomy tower incident, but he wouldn't be able to explain his presence up there in the first place.

However in his double potions class the following Friday afternoon Snape vanished his entire potion by 'accident'. This was too much for Harry to handle, if only Snape had known that Harry was carrying a huge secret of his and wanted to shout to the world then he wouldn't have been so quick to degrade him but it was to late for that now.

Harry stood up and yelled for the entire class to hear.

"Where do you get your thong's from sir." Snape who had continued prowling the class after ruining Harry's entire lesson of work spun to face him immediately, there was an expression on his face that Harry had never seen before, it was beyond loathing but there was also a hint of panic as well.

The entire class was looking from the Professor to the courageous Gryffindor who wasn't regretting his statement.

Draco gave Harry a meaningful look meaning for him not to continue but the golden boy ignored it completely. "Don't get me wrong Sir but I don't think red is quite your colour I'd stick to black if I were you maybe white if you're looking for an alternative."

"Get out." Snape said softly so even the people next to him could barely hear him.

"Excuse me Sir I didn't quite catch that."

"GET OUT." Snape bellowed. Harry smiled at his triumph as he packed away his things and left the room his head held high.

Before he left he turned to Blaise who sat at the back of the room and whispered softly into his ear.

"What colour do you think looks best."

Blaise almost burst into tears at this statement and had to be escorted out of the room after Harry who had gone up to the library for the remainder of his potions lesson.

When the lunch bell sounded his best friends eager to know where he had got his information greeted him.

"Snape was seething after you left you really hit a sore spot." Ron said grinning. Hermione however was taking a more sullen approach.

"You really upset Blaise, Harry, why didn't you do it to Malfoy or something?"

"Because Snape's not screwing Malfoy he's screwing Blaise." Harry said in a very matter of fact tone of voice so much like Hermione's.

"How do you know all this?" Ron asked astounded. Harry paused for a second considering his answer, this was the bit he'd been afraid of how was he going to explain how he knew?

"I can't really say...any way who's up for some lunch I'm starving."

"Don't change the subject I want to know." Harry thought quickly, he couldn't tell his friends about Draco it was to soon for them both.

"Well err...the night of the party...I went for a walk and well I stumbled upon them." Harry lied quickly. Hermione however was not satisfied with this, after seven years of being friends she could tell when he was lying.

Something at the door caught Harry's eye, it was Draco and he was discreetly signalling for him to come out so they could talk.

"Excuse me one second I'll be right back." Harry said standing to leave, taking his bag with him. Harry was overly excited to see his lover however the feeling wasn't mutual.

Draco forced Harry into a deserted classroom shutting and locking the door behind him.

"Don't I get a kiss before you yell at me?" Harry sighed as he took in the look upon the blonde's face.

"You don't deserve it Harry, a good friend of mine has locked himself in our dorm and won't come out and Snape is currently trying to get you expelled." Draco said in a soft but urgent voice. "I can't lose you Harry I couldn't bare it. Can't you just apologise to them or something?"

"Maybe to Blaise but never Snape, I admit I went too far with Blaise and I'm really sorry Dray can you forgive me?"

"Ok my love but you have to say you're sorry to Blaise and since you've been a very naughty boy I'm going to have to punish you."

"I'm intrigued go on."

Draco pulled Harry toward him, kissing the younger boy as passionately as he could. The blonde then worked his way down Harry's jaw leaving a purpling bite mark upon Harry's neck.

A mark that could never be hidden by his uniform.

However before their make out session could go any further there was a loud series of knocks on the classroom door before Hermione's voice called out. "Harry, come out this instant I know you're in there, I saw you go in with someone."

"Hang on a second." Harry called out to her, kissing his lover one final time.

"We'll continue this later." Draco said caressing Harry's cheek. Harry nodded kissed Draco's cheek and left shutting the door behind him so Hermione couldn't see who his companion was. She gave him a suspicious look-taking note of the love bite.

"Where's Ron?" Harry said breaking the silence.

"He's gone down already." Hermione lied as she knew Ron was still sitting in the library; keeping watch to see whom would come out of the room.

Five minutes after the golden boy and the bookworm had descended down to dinner Ron was about to give up when Draco emerged.

The red head smiled to himself now he had the advantage.

The following evening Harry once again crept out of the common room, this was a usual routine for him however on this night he was being followed by two people he had once counted as friends.

Once again the couple meet in the astronomy tower after midnight, thankfully Snape and Blaise weren't there.

What Hermione and Ron saw, as they spied on there once best friend to them was horrific, Harry was kissing Draco there once arch-nemesis.

It took a few moments for Ron and Hermione to take it all in before they revealed themselves. Harry was more than a little annoyed, as he was desperate for a good fuck that only Draco could supply.

"What are you doing here, go away." Harry groaned.

"What are we doing here, we should be asking you the same thing and with him." Hermione stated outraged pointing at Malfoy who was backing away as the memory of the painful slap the girl had delivered him in their third year came back to him.

"I have every right to be here with my boyfriend." At this every one including Draco gasped, this had not been the way they had wanted to break the news.

"You...you and...and Malfoy."

"Yes Ron."

"Would you like him to repeat it slower for you Weasly."

"Just fuck off ferret boy."

"I was a cuter ferret than you are human Weasly."

"Shut up both of you." Harry bellowed just as Ron was going to retaliate.

"Ron your like a brother to me and I love you but I love Draco in a different way, the only way to describe it is to say I would entrust Draco with my heart."

"Sorry to break up this little get together but I was informed four students were out of bed, please follow me to the headmasters office there are some punishments to be dealt out." Filch said with a nasty grin on his face which could only mean one thing they were in big trouble.

* * *

Hope you enjoy this story, I have four more chapters written up, all you have to do to get them posted is to review so you know what to do.


	2. SNAPEY SNICKLES

Fluffy Thongs and BBQ Tongs

Chapter two

All four students looked at Filch, each unsure what to do next.

Ron was deathly pale, obviously still reliving the moment when...when...ewwww no! It was to gross to mention.

Hermione looked lost for words, she hadn't expected to be caught, and she was the one who was meant to be doing the catching, damnit.

Harry had that calculating look upon is face, the once that meant he was thinking WAY to much and went and did something ridiculously stupid and idiotic that got everyone into trouble and caused a near death experience.

This is why Draco decided to take the matter in hand. He nudged Harry in the ribs and leant forward slightly as Filch was beginning to shoo Ron towards the door.

"Let's just carry on." The blonde whispered in his boyfriend's ear.

"WHAT?" Harry began to yell but Draco's hand muffled the sound and continued saying:

"Just play along."

Harry nodded, wondering what the hell Draco was up to. He didn't have much time to wonder as Draco's lips became attached to his, he did what he had been instructed and 'played along' not that it took much for him to do that.

Ron and Hermione both paled considerably, they had both turned around at Filch's in take of breath. The caretaker and two Gryffindor's looked as if they might be fish out of water, their mouths were opening and closing in shock, it was Filch to recover first.

"Oh, so THIS is why you were out of bed."

Harry and Draco didn't stop to listen, they were both to preoccupied with sticking their tongues down the others throat as much as possible to care.

Filch, Ron noticed, had a peculiar glint I his eye. It was almost disturbing. It began to worry him slightly, he watched as Filch stalked towards Harry and Draco, lust showing in his eyes now.

_Hang on, wait, did I just think Filch had...LUST...in his eyes._ Ron thought to himself. _SHIT I did._

Draco opened his eyes mid snog to see the others reactions to the kiss, he caught a glimpse of a very aroused Filch heading straight for them.

_That can't be good _Draco thought. So as much as he wanted to continue the kiss he pulled Harry as close to him as possible and dived out of the way just in time, Harry to involved in the kiss, barely noticed and they continued to snog on the floor. Until Draco, as much as it pained him to do so, pushed Harry away grabbed his hand and the four students made a break for the door, Harry still slightly dazed.

Once outside the door they were all slightly confused on which way to run. Draco grabbed what he thought was Harry's hand and began to run.

"Come on Harry, we have to get out of here."

"But I'm not..."

"Yes you are, we've discussed this, you are GAY."

"No but I'm not Ha..."

"Yes you are happy! You are! Now we have to go before Filch decides to run! Oh dear lord can you imagine!"

Draco tugged harder on the others sleeve and pelted round a corner, leaving the others to fend Filch off alone.

"Quickly in here!"

Draco pulled him into a small door and threw him over the other side. A few bangs were heard as he fell over something in the darkness of the very, very, VERY small cupboard that Draco had forced him into.

_This can't be could _Ron thought as Draco shut the door and settled himself next to him. _Not good at all_!

"Err...Why did Draco take Ron with him?" Hermione asked staring after the couple who had run round the corner away from Filch, who was now gaining on the others quickly.

"Maybe he has a thing for red heads?" Harry shrugged looking at his own hair and running a hand through it thoughtfully. "Maybe I could..."

"No Harry, we have to hide! Quickly, this way!" Hermione grabbed him and ran in the other direction to Filch.

They rounded a sharp corner and Hermione gasped just as before she collided with another person walking towards them. They fell to the floor in a tangle of limbs and loud groans.

"Bloody Gryffindor's!" The person grumbled to himself.

"Blaise! What the hell are you doing up here?" Hermione exclaimed pulling herself up and adjusting her clothes.

"He's shagging Snape!" Harry cackled in delight, enjoying the pretty colour of pink he was turning.

"What? Right this second?" Hermione grimaced.

"No! Look at him! He looks like he's just got back from a good long hard time with the potions master. SNAPEFEST!"

Harry snorted and threw his arms up in the air in triumph, Blaise coloured even more.

"Shut it Potter! At least I'm not shagging Malfoy!"

"At least Draco has taste in thongs! Honestly! Red? Please!"

"Shut up, both of you! We'll be shagging Filch soon if we're not hiding in the next five seconds!" Hermione said as they heard footsteps coming their way.

They dived into the first room they found which just so happened to be another cupboard. Coincidently another very, very, VERY small cupboard.

"Blaisey Boo's! I saw you go in there, it's ok, it's just Snapey Snickles."

"SNAPEY SNICKLES." Harry began giggling uncontrollably as Snape threw open the cupboard door and caused all three of them to tumble out at his feet.

He stared at the three students on the floor at his feet. One had gone rather green and looked as if he'd been having a very good time at SNAPEFEST that night, one was giggling like a girl and rolling around clutching his sides, tears of laughter trickling down his cheeks. The other was just pulling herself up looking very embarrassed to say the least and franticly looking around as if she expected something to pounce any second.

"Let me guess..." Snape growled. "Homework club?"

"No." Harry snorted between giggles. "It's the fluffy thong society."

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Second chapter … what did you think? I love writing this fic, it makes me laugh. 


	3. I'm stuck!

Fluffy Thongs and BBQ tongs

Chapter three

Draco and Ron sat in silence inside the dark cupboard. Ron was waiting for the inevitable, Draco still thought he was Harry and he knew what teenagers in love did in dark cupboards.

He sat as far back from Draco as he could without impaling himself on something sharp, which he was considering if the blonde starting coming on to him. What the hell was he doing IN this cupboard anyway?

Draco on the other hand was wondering why Harry was so damned quiet, usually if they were alone and in small spaces (like they usually were) he would be leaping on him in seconds.

But from across the other side of the cupboard (which really wasn't all that far) he could hear nervous breathing, and slight whimpers of fear.

"Harry, what the hell is the matter? Shut up will you? Do you want to be found?" He snapped and shuffled forwards to try and see his face.

He shuffled around some more after a failed attempt, he then found a more comfortable position for his legs, however he still couldn't see Harry...if only he could reach his wand...

Draco moved closer to Ron and the red head started to panic, really panic. Draco's knee was now wedged between his legs and causing him a few problems.

Ron began to edge sideways to escape the evil knee, to no avail.

"_Oh Merlin, something sharp is sounding very good right now" _Ron thought desperately to himself and he could feel Draco's smirk through the darkness, smirking at his discomfort.

Draco leaned forward, he liked to put Harry on edge, make him wait...

"What's up?"

"I'm not who you think I am" Ron whispered, his back was now pressed against the wall so hard it was beginning to hurt, Draco's face so close to his he could have thrown up and Draco's knee in SUCH wrong place Ron was about ready to give away their hiding place, just to be free of it all.

Filch in a fluffy thong really wasn't the worst of this problems.

Draco made a face "Who the hell are you then? I think I've known you long enough to decide whether I know who you are or not myself!"

"No, you not getting what I'm saying-"

"You smell different" Draco commented, sniffing a little. He knew what Harry smelt like, and he didn't smell like that!

"_Oh god, he's smelling me. Oh shit I haven't had a shower, I've been at Quidditch, I'm all sweaty and disgusting- oh Jesus why do I care!"_

"I smell different because I'm not the right person you total dipstick! I'm not Harry!"

Draco's eyes widened. He was smelling some unknown intruder. He had his face, inches from someone that wasn't Harry "Why aren't you Harry?" Draco demanded

"Because I'm someone else! And if you wouldn't mind moving your knee. Its causing me some discomfort and I'd really rather not have to embarrass myself right now"

Draco attempted to shuffle back into the position he was in before, but he was stuck. He couldn't move an inch and his leg that wasn't invading the strangers privacy was beginning to go numb.

"I'm-uh- I'm stuck" Draco grimaced and wished Harry was here.

"You're WHAT!" Ron squealed "Oh god, Fred and George are going to kill me, Percy too...oh god PERCY! What will they all say? I'm getting too damn close with my best friends boy friend in a very small space filled with sharp objects and who knows what other implements of torture! They'll disown me!"

"Please tell me you didn't just say Fred George OR Percy. Please tell me you didn't say my boyfriend was your best friend. PLEASE TELL ME YOU ARENT WEASLEY!" Draco threw himself back against the wall and began trying his very hardest to climb up it, in order to escape, his nails making scratch marks in the stone.

"I'm going to have to live on the streets; I'll have no money, no home. Harry'll hate me! Hermione will dump me! I'll have to die my hair, not that that will be any kind of major loss..."

While Ron continued to babble, Draco was making progress with the wall...he was slowly scratching a hole in it...he'd get out in the next few hundred years then.

* * *

Chapter three … what did you think, you should know the drill by now! 


	4. CLICK CLICK!

Fluffy thongs and BBQ tongs

Chapter four

"No." Harry snorted between giggles. "It's the fluffy thong society."

"Does that mean you and Miss Granger are also members?" Snape asked. "Maybe I could borrow one of yours sometime?"

Harry stopped giggling at once. "I don't actually have any...but I was thinking about getting Draco one for Christmas, is there a particular store you would recommend?"

"Well..."

"Stop it both of you, we don't have time for this." Blaise interrupted. "But my favourite store has to be-"

"No, you three can discuss this later." Hermione said quickly as she heard more footsteps. "RUN"

Hermione and Blaise ran in one direction and Harry and Snape in another.

Draco's hole...in the wall was coming along quite nicely. Maybe it wouldn't take hundreds of years, maybe just a couple of millennia instead.

Ron was hyperventilating in a serious way, Draco could feel Ron's...problem against his knee.

"If you come on my knee Weasley..." Draco paused, soft footsteps were heard and a faint meow.

"Was that you Weasley? Don't start purring please!"

"Shhhhhhhhhhhhhh." The red head hissed but it was too late

The cupboard door was flung open and the most hideous sight meet their eyes. Filch was standing there with nothing but a sliver fluffy thong covering his...

He had found a rake and...what was that...BBQ tongs from somewhere. He wore a menacing grin as he clicked the tongs together. Click Click

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH." Draco screamed forgetting Ron and the fact he was stuck, he yanked at his shirt that was caught on a nail and a horrible ripping sound signalled the fact that Draco's shirt had been ripped from his body and was now sprinting down the corridor as fast as he could.

Ron couldn't move, he never had this sort of...problem before.

Draco chanced a glance back and saw that Mrs Norris had appeared from somewhere and was preparing to pounce on Filches thong, properly mistaking it for a mouse.

He saw no more as he rounded a corner.

Harry and Snape were running down a corridor they didn't care to take the time to recognise when they crashed into someone running in the opposite direction, sending them all sprawling on the floor. Harry was glad to see he had landed on top of Draco, what he wasn't very happy about was the fact Snape was on the top of them both.

"Filch..." Draco yelled. "He got Ron...and Mrs Norris by the looks of it."

"WHAT?"

"And Ron has a bigger problem."

"What could be worse than being caught by an aroused Filch."

"No I mean he has a BIGGER problem."

"Oh...OH...we have to help him."

"I'm not going back...Filch has a rake...and BBQ tongs."

"Oh...Professor..."

"Don't even think about it Potter."

"So you're going to let Filch have his way with a student...and a cat."

"He won't...he's just going to induct Weasley into the Fluffy thong society."

"You mean that actually exists..." Harry couldn't help but break down into noisy fits of laughter.

The other two stood there staring at him.

"What's wrong with you Harry?" Draco asked giving the other boy a confused look. "Most teachers are members...I didn't realise Filch was but..."

"You mean...under all the teachers robes...EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!"

"Well not ALL teachers...I think the only exception is Professor Flitwick."

"You mean that, Dumbledore...OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD...EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!"

"Yes his personal favourite has to be fluffy blue sparkly thongs."

As Snape spoke Draco listened intently actually rather interested while Harry stuck a finger in each ear and chanted over and over again: "I'm not listening, I'm not listening, I'm not listening, I'm not listening."

"What kind does Lupin prefer?" Draco asked. Harry gave him a disgusted look. "On second thoughts I don't want to know."

"Good choice, that is something I REALLY didn't want to know about my godfather."

Snape leant down and whispered in Draco's ear so Harry didn't hear: "He likes a wide range but when forced to pick he always goes for the brown fluffy one with the antlers coming out at the side but it is rather difficult to conceal under robes, or so he tells me."

"Ok, I REALLY DON'T WANT TO KNOW."

Meanwhile, Ron had managed to crawl out of the cupboard and was trying to drag himself and his heavy load down the corridor.

"Must get away, have to get away" he panted to himself, urging himself on "Im too young and innocent to die!"

"Wait...I'm NOT innocent now am I? Oh god I was molested by Malfoy, and his evil knee! And now I'm about to be ravished by Filch and his crazy cat...speak of which...where..."

That's when he heard a screech from behind him and someone yell something about "Pulling the fur out" .

Ron rolled over onto his back and copped an eyeful. Filch was flailing about swatting at Mrs Norris who was now clinging to the silver thong with one paw and was hissing and spitting viciously.

Filch started throwing himself at the wall face first trying to dislodge the cat but all he was achieving was to grow a rather large ugly lump on his forehead.

Ron took the opportunity to get up and scuttle off, leaving the chaos behind him. Just as he was about to run around the corner he heard a last wail form Mrs Norris as she came flying through the air and began skidding along the floor on her stomach, claws scraping the floor as she went.

"Poor cat" Ron mused as he escaped, leaving Filch to recover his missing fur and pull out the matted strands that Mrs Norris had drooled on.

Hermione and Blaise were still running when Ron came crawling around the corner, sweating and groaning loudly.

"Oh Merlin! Ron!" Hermione rushed forwards and began helping him until she noticed his...problem...

"What have you been DOING!" she yelled, dropping him and letting him bounce painfully on the floor.

"Malfoy...cupboard...he got stuck..."

"DON'T TELL ME ANYMORE!" She yelled

"He lost his shirt! It was horrible!"

"I'm sure it was" Blaise winked

"Filch...cat...thong NO FUR!" Ron stammered "Mrs Norris ripped it off!"

"RON SHUT UP!"

He began shaking in fright "But he still has his rake...and his...his...TONGS!"

That's when the familiar click click sounded from further back in the corridor and Ron grabbed Blaise by his trousers, pulling him down so they were face to face

"Run!" he whispered "Before he catches us all!"

And then Blaise's trousers slipped, and fell down around his ankles.

"Oh god, I forgot I was wearing the disco thong" he muttered pushing Ron away from his privates and attempting to pull his trousers back around his waist.

"He has MIRRORED BALLS!" Ron squealed

**(AN: Authors kack themselves...we didn't NOT discuss whether "pissed" or "kacked" would be a better way to describe our hysterical laughing fit...)**

Blaise had a thong which, unlike the others, was covered in tiny little squares of mirrors, just like disco balls.

Blaise sighed, replacing his trousers and grabbed Ron to pull him to a safer hiding place. Hermione just stared, open mouthed, at Blaise

"Who knew Slytherins were so damned Horny!" she exclaimed in amazement.

"AHA!" Filch had found them. His thong was slightly ruffled and off centre but he was still carrying his rake and tongs which he was clicking in glee.

"I WANT MY SNAPEY SNICKLES!" Blaise whined as Filch approached. Hermione took action and pulled him and Ron behind some coats of armour that stood around a corner and out of sight.

Filch quickly followed but he couldn't see where they had hidden. Mrs Norris seemed to have given up on her quest for fur and was no where to be seen, obviously licking her wounds.

Finally Filch gave up and turned on his heel to go in search of the others.

Unfortunately, all three were in the perfect position to see more than they wanted to when Filch turned around and Ron groaned.

"Why does it have to be thongs? Cant it be granny pants?"

"Granny pants aren't sexy" Blaise grunted

"What? And Silver thongs on Filch ARE?"

"Granny pants would be less so..."

"Really? I'm not so sure..."

Hermione in the meantime ventured back out into the corridor, checking that Filch had gone.

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Chapter four … what did you think, you know the drill! 


End file.
